Get a haircut that suits your age
something modern, chic, and fun
Not what those other mothers get –
Don’t get upset!
– who still think they’re twenty one.
Keep it long around your jaw
Your chin is getting round
As a matter of fact
keep your bangs intact
‘cuz you’re thinning at the crown.
Rinse the gray but save the black
for Italian widows and Emo teens
Go a shade up or down
from your natural mousy brown
or try something in between.
Come on, I’m only trying to help
You never had much fashion sense
Try a haircut you can wash and wear
It’s not like anyone will care
It’s just one less frivolous expense.
Or why not get a woolen scarf
and tie it round your head?
Or just get Dad to chop it off
(You’ll never look like Laura Croft)
and give me the cash instead.